Caedmon's Egg Hunt

Wayne and I have often joked that in our town, having a child is your ticket in.  That means that when we had Caedmon, we were well on our way to social inclusion and all sorts of raucous carousing.  Today, we were invited to participate in an early Easter egg hunt with some moms at our church and their tykes.  See?  We are living it up!

This was Caedmon's first egg hunt, if you could call it that... more of a reluctant picking, really.

 Lined up with the other kids, Caedmon is clearly the littlest.  

 He also clearly has no idea what he's doing here, as he starts to wander away when the leader yells, "Go!"

Still, he ponders an egg in the grass when I lead him to it.

This is how he does his best pondering...

Considering he's not even a year, he actually did pretty well with picking up the eggs and dropping them in his basket/bag... until he got bored and retreated to the cement where he proceeded with his favorite game--dropping items on the ground, the noisier the better.

This is another fun use for your Easter basket/bag.

Hey, Mom!  Did you take my candy?

All in all, a very fun afternoon with some fun new friends!  What's next on our social agenda, Little Guy?  :)

11 Months: From Baby to Toddler

Caedmon turned 11 months on Saturday.  Eleven months!  And he's growing in leaps and bounds--not so much in stature (he is STILL wearing some size 6-month pants!), but definitely physically and cognitively.

Right after I posted his 9 month update, in which I reported that Caedmon was not yet mobile, he started crawling (tripod style, with his left leg lunged out in front of him--which he still does), and then a week later, before he was even 10 months, he took his first steps! It was while I was taking this photo to send to grandparents for Chinese New Year, that Caedmon decided to walk right to me!

I'm pretty excited that I literally caught his first steps on camera (in a picture, at least), his blurriness being proof of this new mobility.  And just like that, my baby became a toddler!  Now at 11 months, Caedmon is toddling all over the place, busy exploring the new frontier that is our home and collecting his fair share of bumps and bruises and battle wounds... but nothing so serious as to stop him from getting right back up and plodding right along.  That's my boy!

Now that he's fully mobile, my life has changed.  Other parents have alluded to this shift in attention to hyper-vigilance, and after 11 months, it's finally come to our household.  While I'm not the kind to hover over Caedmon, I can no longer just leave him in one area and expect him to play nicely in that same spot. There has been a lot more chasing around and a lot more "no"s as he gets into everything... and a lot more fun as Caedmon is now able to participate so much more actively in the world around him.

Cognitively, Caedmon is developing right on track, and it's been fun for me to match his new actions with all the information I've gleaned from my extensive reading.  I can almost see the cogs in Caedmon's head, spinning and turning as he tries to make sense of our world.  He is already a very methodical little scientist, and I have noticed that he proceeds with generally the same course of action when he encounters something new: 1) Put in mouth.  Chew for a bit and examine.  2) Scratch at its surface, shake item if able, and if necessary, put back in mouth.  3) Drop on the floor to see what kind of racket it can make.  Repeat. ...again and again.

And while just a month and a half ago, Caedmon loved taking things apart (dumping his bucket of toys on the ground, emptying cabinets, ripping paper), he is starting to learn that things can be put back together, and he enjoys putting his blocks back into their box (though he hasn't yet mastered putting paper back together again.)  He also enjoys dropping items into other larger receptacles, as evidenced by his work here.  That's Lucy's toy squirrel that he stuffed into his diaper champ.  Thanks, Caedmon, for trying to clean up.

Caedmon has four teeth now, still loves eating bread (and now cheese), and is still making me pull my hair out sometimes with his picky eating... but he is also still super sweet and cuddly, still has the best belly laugh, and still melts my heart the way he squeals and pumps his fists when I come home, and while before, he was only able to lunge towards me with all his excited might, he now hobble-runs, arms wildly flailing for balance before grabbing my legs as he runs into them.  That will never get old.  :)

And there he goes...

Some other Caedmon pictures at 11 months...

Caedmon loves scrunching his face up like so, and breathing really hard through his nose so that he sounds like a baby dragon doing his calisthenics.

This picture is blurry, but I like how Wayne is passed out in the background.

Learning how to drink from a straw... I did it!

Not Just a Stay-at-Home-Mom

Today I made my final decision to extend my leave from teaching for another year.  I spoke with my principal, got the necessary signatures, turned in my paperwork to HR... and that's that.  ... But let me tell you, that was one of the harder decisions I've had to make, and I was vacillating even up until I actually handed in my documents.  ...because to extend my leave another year is really just a precursor to the ultimate decision to stay home entirely, which means I may not teach for at least ten years, when the kids are in school... or ever.

My struggle, I'm sure, is shared by many a mother who desires deeply to care for and nurture her own children, teach and instill values, watch them grow... but at the same time, has an almost equal eagerness for meaningful work outside of the home, to earn an income no matter how big or small, and to be a part of something that she takes pride in, that is all her own.

In choosing to stay home, I feel a little like the kid who's been asked to watch everyone's belongings as they all scamper off to ride the new rollercoaster.  It's an important responsibility, and one that I've completely embraced and enjoyed more than I could imagine this past year, but my I-can-do-it-all mentality makes me want to drag everything behind me and jump in the wheeling car, totebags, water bottles, and cameras haphazardly in tow.  I realize this analogy is faulty on so many levels (for one, my son is not a backpack), but the essence of it is I want to have both--to stay home AND teach, which isn't a viable option at the moment.

Even last night, as Wayne was sharing with me his day, I couldn't help but miss teaching already.  And with all seriousness, I lamented, "I feel like my life is over!"  He smiled, because I have a propensity (just a slight one) for being overdramatic, but what I mean is, I feel like MY life... all that was and is Cecilia's, is being taken away.  This was the case as soon as Caedmon was born--my schedule was no longer my own, my sleep, my body, my free-time... and now my work... is no longer my own.  MY life is now my family's.  And it is completely wonderful... and still completely difficult to adjust to my shifting identity.

Whether I see it as a blessing or a curse, or just plain reality, my sister helped remind me of what a calling this is.  She said that being a mom should be more than just keeping her family fed and alive.  A mom has the capacity to truly mold her family, to nurture and guide her children to understand and seek God's heart, to instill sound values and ethics to shape an individual who is loving, confident, and a contributing member of society. A mom doesn't have to stay home in order to take on this all-important role, but if she does, her identity and value have not diminished, as I can't help but feel. No, I will not be JUST a stay-at-home-mom, because a mom who chooses to stay at home, who directs the time, energy, and creativity once reserved for work, towards her family... is noble and significant and irreplaceable.

A friend of mine, a very driven woman who left her flourishing career to be home and whose relationship with her son I can only hope to have with Caedmon one day, shared her thoughts with me, as she now prepares to send her son off to college this coming fall.  She told me that yes, I will miss my job, I will miss interacting with other adults in a professional context, I will miss the challenge and gratification that is afforded in advancing my career... but I will not miss any milestones, any teachable moments, any grubby fingers that insist on grabbing my hair, my hand, and my heart.  And as all moms say, because it's true, cherish it, because it all goes by so fast.  I appreciate this advice from a mother who is looking back on a journey that I am just beginning.

As I made my final decision, I determined that as much as I love teaching, I love spending time with Caedmon during the day even more.  I'm just a novice, but I will strive to be a mom with purpose, who will nurture Caedmon's soul as much as his intellect and physical body, and pour into this new job even more than I did with my old.

With my extension paperwork signed, sealed, and delivered... Caedmon, I'm yours.

Yay, at least another year home with Mom!