The Nursing Mother's Companion
What to Expect: The First Year
Your Baby's First Year
Babywise
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
The Sleep Easy Solution
The Wonder Weeks
Baby Play
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer
The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems
These are the books I've read over the last three months. Let's not forget the countless websites and mommy forums I've also pored through. I'm crazy!!! And a stress case, trying to do everything "right" according to the books. While Caedmon's week 8 fussies are gone, thank goodness (they were most likely caused by a developmental leap, according to The Wonder Weeks), he is still napping poorly. Except for his morning nap, which is still a solid 2 hours, he naps for only 30-45 minutes each time for the rest of the day. And I am on a mission to solve this problem that has been plaguing my entire being.
So I have immersed myself in baby literature, and perhaps, as Wayne suggests, it may be causing more harm than good. While I am definitely more informed, I may be TOO informed. I am hyper-vigilant during his activity time, mindful not to overstimulate him and simultaneously watching his cues and the clock, lest we keep him up too long. I employ soothing-to-sleep methods while putting him down, careful to get the technique just right, as I've read over and over and rehearsed in my head. When he stirs, I put on white noise or administer the "shush-pat", as advised by the Baby Whisperer. Sometimes he sleeps extra long in the mornings, and I worry, "Is this okay? Will it interfere with the rest of his day? The books say he should be napping 1 1/2 to 2 hours." And the worst is when he wakes early, as he always does, and I am at a loss... I've done everything right! Perhaps it is the "45-minute intruder", according to Babywise, and he is hungry. But he isn't interested in food, and I don't want to turn him into a snacker, as warned by the Baby Whisperer. Is it another wonder week? Or a growth spurt, which What to Expect says should come around this time... Okay, let's see what Babywise Mom has to say...
Wow, I sound like a nut. And poor Wayne has to listen and endure my frantic distress. But he is so patient. Yes, he calls me crazy, but he also reminds me that books are books; we have a REAL BABY, not a robot. And what a joyful baby we have! Caedmon is thriving, smiling and happy. Why am I so worried all the time?
I really should just take a deep breath and a step back... and away from all these books and references. With my nose buried so deeply into these guides and my mind so wrapped up
in what "should be", I may miss out on these fleeting magical moments. Perhaps I should listen to my own intuition sometimes, or just let go, roll with the punches, and ENJOY this time, even if Caedmon isn't napping. I need to relax, revel in these moments, and remember that every child is different, and no matter how difficult the problem, this, too, shall pass.
Because, you know, that's what the books say...
haha dang i cant believe you read so many. i have read none so far. but im looking for one to read- is there one you would suggest out of your list?
ReplyDeletebut yeah. even being pregnant and googling every symptom is not helpful at times. i find myself doing it and worrying more after sometimes. i just need to pray!
This is quality wisdom and perspective, Ceci! Wayne's right-- Caedmon's a REAL baby, not a robot. He is exactly as he "should" be :)
ReplyDeleteYou are SUCH a loving mom to go through all this to maximize his rest! Someday he'll hear about your nuttiness in this stage and shake his head at his incredibly loving, nutty mama :)
Sammy Z., I highly recommend Babywise. Though some find its message of having a structured routine difficult to swallow, I actually find comfort in structure, which also helps me read his cries. Secrets of the Baby Whisperer is essentially like Babywise, but is written by a British nanny and may be more settling to read for some. (Think Mary Poppins.)
ReplyDeleteSammy M., thanks for your encouraging words. I've always been a spaz, huh? :)
haha - isn't it crazy how parenting is so different than what people may tell us or what we read? God has made us each so unique and of course our children too. Glad you are able to embrace these precious moments even when you are at your wit's end trying to figure out Caedmon! He will appreciate all your hard work one day...if not, Auntie Annice will be sure to tell him! :)
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