Up All Night... again.

Last night was another sleepless night for me.  Since Caedmon's fever a couple of weeks ago, he's been waking at 10 or 11, and because I was afraid he was hungry (he hadn't been eating his solids), I've been nursing him.  I'm not against feeding my baby at night, but I'll do it only if he is truly hungry.  He normally goes from 7 to 7 without a feed, so I know he can do it.  However, if there is even an inkling of doubt whether he is hungry or not, I always feed him; I'm so paranoid over his hunger.  The trouble with that, though, is that it's so easy to create a habit, so that he starts taking these calories at nighttime instead of day, and that's exactly what has happened.  Waking at 10 or 11, though, is not much of a bother, which is probably why I hadn't taken much action to shift his caloric intake.

The last couple of nights, though, he's been waking at 1 and 2AM.  Now THAT is a bother.  But if he's hungry, what can I do?

The first night when he woke at 1AM, I went in to nurse him, but for some strange reason, my letdown would not come in.  I tried for 15 minutes as poor Caedmon would suck furiously and then get so upset that nothing was coming out.  Caedmon wailed, arching his back and flinging his body back in frustration.  I was feeling the same inside.  All l I could do was rock and sing; I felt so helpless.  ... and then the unexpected happened.  Caedmon calmed down.  So I continued to rock and sing... and Caedmon fell asleep!  More precious sleeping baby moments, which I am always thankful for, but even more than that, it was a revelation.  He wasn't hungry.  I mean, sure, he probably would have eaten if I had been able to offer, but he didn't NEED it.  And that's all I needed to proceed with Project Sleep-Through-The-Night-Again.

So last night, Caedmon woke at 2AM.  After letting him cry, having Wayne go in and rock, and then me going in to soothe and rock, Caedmon finally slept at 5AM.  At that point, Caedmon still wasn't looking very sleepy, but I had to put him down, because I was getting so tired.  He cried to protest, of course, but less than 10 minutes later, he was out.  Sheesh, if it was this easy, why didn't you do it sooner?  Sometimes I think our meddling (i.e. going in to soothe and rock) actually makes everything worse.  Had we let him cry, he probably would have been asleep sooner... but when I'm meddling, at least I feel like I'm DOING something.  (And this is the slippery slope of becoming an annoying, overbearing mother.)

Right now, and last night, especially, Project Sleep-Through-The-Night-Again hardly seems worth it, as I was up all night anyway.  Wouldn't it be so much easier on everyone if I just nursed him?  But I do recall how glorious those 7-7 nights were, and how much better rested Caedmon was (how we all were), and so I will press on.

Today is a new day... giving way to a new night.  Hopefully, there is more rest for us all on the horizon.