We All Scream for Ice Cream (Especially Caedmon)

Gunther's Ice Cream in Sacramento, CA

A couple of weeks ago, we took a trip to Gunther's.  We love this old-fashioned ice cream parlor that is as much a proverbial Shangri-la of sugary confections as it is a fixture in iconic Sacramento.  As if we need an excuse to go, I had an Entertainment Book coupon that was about to expire, and who can let free ice cream go to waste?  Plus, I thought it would be fun to capture Caedmon's first taste of ice cream.  Well, his second. His first was a hilarious contortion of his face in response to the unfamiliar freezing temperatures in his mouth, but without a camera, the moment was lost.  This time, we were armed and ready.  Wayne voiced his concern, though.  "Are you sure you want him eating ice cream at this hour?  All for the sake of a picture?"  "Don't worry," I reasoned.  "He doesn't like it. I just want a picture for his scrapbook."  

Oh, how I was wrong...

No, thank you.  This is new and strange.  I do NOT want to try it! 

I'd really rather play on this window ledge and bombard the people in the next booth with my cuteness.

Nevermind that there's a placard that says, "Parents, please keep children off the window" that Mom didn't see until way later... Oops.

Okay, I'll give it another try...

Oooh... that's good!

I need another bite.

And another...

What do you mean, "That's enough"?!  

Crying and screaming ensued, but we brought it upon ourselves, right?  We took him outside, which always does the trick.  And though our evening dissolved into a slight meltdown, I would say it was a rather happy ending... Not only did we get our fill of ice cream for our stomachs, and I, fodder for my scrapbook, Wayne and I were able to witness the likes of a budding love story, because if this boy is anything like his parents, he will be blissfully entangled in this sweet, creamy romance for years to come.

Okay, I'll play on this bike rack... I'm easily distracted.  But Mom, when's my next ice cream cone??

If I Could, I Would, but I Can't, So... Let Me Think About It

I just received a call from Valley High School, where I taught during my first year.  They have a .6 position open for next semester (meaning I would teach 3 classes instead of the usual 5 plus a prep period), and they actually remembered how I mentioned in passing last year that if I were to teach now, it would be part-time at a .6.  The VP who called even went on to say that he doesn't do this for everyone, but because of the teacher he knows I am, he would work with me to give me the classes and schedule that would work best for me.  (Wow, so flattering...)  And my response?  I told him that I'd think about it!

What??  I can't go back right now!  Not next semester already.  I've made a commitment to Caedmon to stay with him at least another school year, and really, a not-set-in-stone-but-pretty-much-there commitment to our family to stay home until all the kids are in school.  Plus, I already HAVE a .6 contract from which I'm currently taking a leave!  Though I have talked about going back to Valley, an inner-city school where I feel I'm actually making a difference, if not academically, but as a (perhaps) rare positive adult in my students' lives, I know in my heart of hearts that this is not the right timing for this opportunity.

So then why did I say, "maybe"?  

Because I didn't want to say "no".  Because for a few days, I want to feel like I have options, that I am someone who is valued for her abilities and talents.  That I could actually be good at something again, because though I know it's trite to say, I honestly do feel like I am failing miserably at this new job as stay-at-home-mom to Caedmon (post about that in the works).  That maybe I can put my time into something that will yield more tangible and quick-bearing fruit (though this is teaching... Really? There is absolutely no guarantee of any such tangible or quick-bearing fruit!)

But.  But this--staying home and raising Caedmon--is worth it, right?  He just woke up and is now screaming... always the screaming... My patience is so thin... I'm so tired... Yet this is worth it.  Right?  Though I don't feel like it at all in this moment, I know it is--for us.  In no way do I equate being a good mom to staying home, but if we have thought it through and have made a commitment, I feel it WOULD be remiss of me to change my mind based solely on my fleeting circumstances and Caedmon's ever-changing moods.  And so I just have to grin and bear it.. maybe even cry and bear it, but bear it all the same, because though these fruits are elusive and slow during the toddler years (and perhaps through the elementary years and the teenage years--God, help me...), I do trust and believe that I am where I should be right now.  No, I'm not trying to be a martyr, just a mother who sometimes has a rough day (make that many days)... who will turn down a job offer next week so that she can keep doing what is currently kicking her butt.  

"Let us not be weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."  Galatians 6:9

This is Trouble...