Celebrating 5 Years

Wayne and I celebrated our five year anniversary yesterday by going out to dinner at a nice restaurant in town.  Yes, Caedmon cried when we left (when does he not?), but even as I pried his fingers from around my neck, my spirits were high.  We were going out!  At night!  Together!  It was almost surreal, driving the familiar streets... but at night.

With nothing else open during the late evenings in Elk Grove, we were home by 9:45, but that short excursion out together was so incredibly revitalizing, not just for my spirits, but I know for our relationship, as well.  Uninterrupted conversation and undivided attentions for un-sleepy spouses can do wonders.... imagine that.  (Gifts of jewelry also help.  See my new necklace below... EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!)

I remember when we were first married, older couples advised us to always keep up with date nights.  Okay, we thought, and diligently applied this sage advice for the first four years.  Oh, yes, this is fun, we said to one another, as each week, we checked off restaurants we wanted to try, sometimes even twice in that time frame.  Did we want ice cream afterwards?  Sure.  Did we want to watch a movie in the theaters?  Why not?  (But only if there was a coupon.)  Did we want to spend three and a half weeks gallivanting all over Europe for our summer break?  Absolutely.  And then Caedmon came along and changed EVERYTHING... including my relationship with my very best friend.  We no longer have as much time or, to be honest, the energy to spend that level of quality time with one another... zoning out in front of the television after Caedmon has gone to bed because we're so dog-tired just isn't the same.

And so now I understand the advice of the Wise Ones so much clearer.  It is hard to carve out time with Wayne, when all I want to do in the evenings is read or work on a crossword.  It is hard to leave Caedmon, knowing he has a difficult time with us gone.  It is hard, even, to find the motivation to actually put on something that is not cotton and make myself look more than just presentable. It is so much harder now to keep up with date nights, but I'm already realizing that it's a worthwhile endeavor.

So I had a really good time last night...

hint, hint, Wayne.  ;)

What, I not only brushed my hair but curled it?  This must be a special occasion.

At Boulevard Bistro in Elk Grove.

One of Those Days

Today was one of those days that made me want to just bury my head in the sand... and not emerge until Caedmon is in college.  He was SO cranky and whiney and clingy and threw multiple tantrums before it was even lunchtime.

I've been reading Toddlerwise, the third installment in the Babywise series by Gary Ezzo and Dr. Robert Bucknam, and in it, it said (quoting Elaine St. James from her book Simplify Your Life with Kids):

Kids who live without structure can develop behavior problems.  Frequent tantrums, whining, a disregard for rules, inappropriate or aggressive behavior, constant demands, and an inability to share are some signs that your child needs more structure (43). 

So is that what Caedmon needs?  More structure?  (Goodness, that book has a way of making me feel so guilty.)

Today I decided to introduce "Blanket Time", which is what the book suggests as one structured, controlled way for children to play on their own.  During Blanket Time, children play with toys on a blanket and should not move off of it until Mom or Dad say so.  Sounds pretty good, right?  I thought Caedmon could benefit from some Blanket Time, especially for those instances when I cannot be monitoring him, like when I'm in the shower.  (It would be an improvement upon the chairs I'm currently using to corral him in.) I laid out TWO blankets to give Caedmon more space to play, dispersed plenty of his favorite toys, and called him over cheerily, optimistically for his first try at Blanket Time.  And then this ensued:

True to his shirt, he is, indeed, crabby.

Oh, my goodness, the squalor.  That boy cried and clung to me and arched his back in defiance, because of... I don't know what.  Forget about "structured and controlled", we never even made it to the blanket.

I feel like such a failure... and it's not just because of Blanket Time.  It's because he's such a monster!

You know those babies who are angelic, sweet in nature, will smile and chuckle when you make faces at them, will snuggle your neck when you ask, "Can I hold him?"... That is NOT my son. Yes, he brings me unfathomable joy and is actually quite pleasant for much of the time (with us), but when he's upset, he's upset, and he can turn on a dime. (Where did that adage come from anyway?)

No, it's not just Blanket Time, but it's in seeing how willful and disobedient and defiant and prone to tantrums Caedmon can be and often is that makes me feel like I must be doing something sorely wrong here.  I realize Caedmon is just 15 months... is this just the way of a young toddler?  But it's also his sin nature that is already so evident and strong in him that alarms me so.  And even more, I'm discouraged by my own inadequacy to correct and nurture and tame this beast.  How am I supposed to do it all?

I know the answer... and that is that I CAN'T do it, which is why I NEED to rely on God's grace and provision.  And while this really should be a relief and the solace I seek, it's hard to feel better when I'm still standing at the base of the most treacherous peak I've ever been asked to conquer.

Trust God.  Surrender to God.  Do my best with what God has given.  That's all I can do, and it's all that is asked of me... I want Caedmon to know God and follow His will and heart... I want Caedmon to have a strong character and obey and respect us.  I want him to be good and do good, not just for the sake of being good, but because it will be a reflection of his heart condition.  I want him to be compassionate, generous, and bold.  I want all these things for Caedmon... and yet right now he seems SO far from that... and I am so far from being the mom to guide him along that path. (And the truth is, I may do all the right things with Caedmon, and he STILL may remain a monster.  And I need to accept and be content with whatever God has for him... may it be monster status and all... though right now, that's very hard to embrace.)

Trust God.  Surrender to God.  Do my best.  sigh... one foot in front of the other.  Tomorrow is a new day. Time to dig my head out of the sand and be renewed and start anew.

"Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You.  Show me the way I should go, for to You I entrust my life."  Psalm 143:8

The Truth About Crafts (and Dogs)

This was my latest makeover project--our upholstered metal folding chairs.

Before

 After

Pretty nice upgrade, wouldn't you say?  But what is even more interesting, I think, is the behind-the-scenes footage of this saga, because the reality is, behind every pretty picture of a craft I've completed, is a slew of headaches and frustrations that are lost to the public eye as soon as I post a polished "after" photo.  

This is the truth of crafting that Pinterest will not tell you.

Other mishaps in my past include:
the orange door
our family room

There was also our dining table that I refinished TWICE and still has pockmarks, because apparently, I'm horrible at sanding away pre-existing varnish.  And my purple bookshelf that I painted with such alacrity in college, but learned the difficult way the indispensable importance of primer when all its painted stripes peeled off, taking along with it my hard work and motivation.  I ended up taking a whole quarter (or was it two) to finally finish that thing.

And now these reupholstered folding chairs.

Every tutorial I had encountered proclaimed how easy this project was, and you know, after I got that first one done, the rest really were fairly simple, but that first chair.  Oh, that first chair.  I can't look at that pink chair without a little bit of a grimace.  Here is what I had to learn, the hard way:

• You need short staples (1/4") to attach your new fabric, otherwise your staples will go through the top panel. (There was NOT ONE tutorial online that I could find that addressed my problem of staples going through, so I provide a solution here.  See next bullet for solution #2.)
• You need a thick home decorating fabric, (and even then, there are thinner ones interspersed with the thicker ones... don't go for those), otherwise your staples will go through the top panel.  My pink fabric is thinner, and I had to resort to stapling only partially through, so as not to injure my guests who will be sitting in this chair.  (I could have also kept the original fabric on underneath, but the pattern showed through the white part of my pink fabric.  This is another reason to buy a thicker fabric, so that you don't have to go through the hassle of removing the original fabric.)

My thinner fabric requires me to staple only partially through, lest the staples puncture through the other side, stabbing my unassuming guests in the back.

• Use a heavy duty staple gun.  Don't go for the prettier, lighter one advertised to be easier on your hands (EVEN if the packaging has on it a picture of a man stapling together a wooden birdhouse... don't trust it). Otherwise, you will end up with two staple guns and have spent $23 instead of $9, when the prettier, easy-on-the-hands one refuses to puncture anything.  What worked was the Arrow JT27.  

Go for a heavy duty staple gun, like the one on the right.

• When purchasing anything, double check that you have the right items and that they are in working order, like, say, that your spray adhesive is not missing a nozzle.  Otherwise, you will make the untimely discovery the next time you craft, i.e. when the baby is napping, and therefore, you will be home-bound, and unable to move on with your project, you will be left with nothing else to do but twiddle your thumbs.  Talk about a momentum-buster.  
• Speaking of spray adhesive, don't use it indoors at your dining table.  This seems like common sense, and apparently, I don't have any.  If you, too, lack common sense, you will get spray adhesive all over your table, computer, phone, and anything else that's lying within a 2-foot radius of your target.  You will then need to use GooGone and some soapy water to remove adhesive (you're welcome for doing the research for you).
• The bottom panel that you sit on is not a uniform square, at least it wasn't on my chairs.  The back corners are more tapered than the front ones.  Therefore, it matters which way your fabric is lined up.  Lay your fabric on to check if it lines up correctly BEFORE you staple it all on... otherwise, you will find yourself grumbling under your breath as you rip out all the staples, rotate your fabric, and then staple it back on again.

NOOOO!!!

• If you have chairs with these plastic push-in rivets on the bottom, as opposed to metal screws, curse the chair-making powers that be and then decide your course of action.  More on this below, but DON'T try to cut them off with scissors.  It is an ineffective method that will take too much time and will hurt your hands in the process.  There are better ways to remove the rivets.  

Okay, now that I've finished airing my frustrations and thoroughly scared some of you  from attempting this project, let me assure you that it really is quite simple.  ;)  Here's what I did that worked, and hopefully my mistakes will save you some time and headache... though if you're anything like me, you, too, must learn the hard way.  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?  Yes, I believe that can be applied to crafting.  

How to Reupholster Your Folding Chair

Materials:

• folding chair
• heavy home decorating fabric (about 1/2-yard)
• spray adhesive (optional, but it helps)
• heavy(ier) duty staple gun
• 1/4-inch staples
• screwdriver

Additional materials you may need:

• hammer or metal mallet
• #8-32 x 1/2" round head screws with bolts (I would actually get ones with larger heads, if they exist, but otherwise, these work.)
• E6000 glue

1. Unscrew the top and bottom panels.  Or, if you are unfortunate like me, your chair panels are attached by plastic push-in rivets.  Use a hammer to pound them out.  If the rivets are not too shredded, you can simply reinsert the panel when you are finished reupholstering it.  (Test by replacing the seat panel to see if old rivets will hold.)  If, though, they are not reusable, or if you want a sturdier attachment, you can replace the rivets with the round head screws.

2. Hopefully, your new fabric is nice and thick and not see-through, so you can simply lay it on top of the original fabric.  However, if your original fabric is in poor condition, or if you want to replace the plastic push-in rivets with screws, then you'll need to remove the original fabric using a screwdriver to lift the staples.

3.  If you are replacing the plastic rivets with screws, pull the cushion apart from the backing and remove rivets and reinsert round head screws.  I used masking tape to keep the screws in place before I flipped the board back over so that the screws are pointed outwards.  

4.  Laying the panels on top of your new (and ironed) fabric, cut out pieces with about 1-1/2 to 2 inches extra on each side.  Be aware of which sides are the front and back of your panel, and align your fabric accordingly.  Use spray adhesive (outside!) to secure fabric, and then start stapling.  Start in the middle of one side, and add a couple more on either side, spaced evenly apart.  Pull the fabric taut, and repeat on the opposite side.  Continue on the third side, and then it's opposite side.  

 5.  When you get to the corners, be sure to pleat the fabric before stapling, working around each curve.

6. Cut away excess fabric that may be covering the holes for your screws.  Realign your panels to the chair, and screw back into place.  If you replaced the push-in rivets with screws, attach bolts now.  If you kept the old push-in rivets, all you need to do is snap the seat panel back in position.  A little wobbly?  Or maybe you were too lazy to replace the broken rivets?  Use the E6000 glue.  This is an easy solution, but you won't be able to take the panel off again.

7.  And that's it!  Enjoy your chair! 

Easy, right?  Haha, I guess you'll have to find out.

As for Lucy, she's content to play with protective plastic wrap and paint silly expressions, even when her chairs don't turn out.  No sweat.  Maybe I should take a page from her book.

Taking a break from her painting project

So Does He Do Any Tricks?

Recently, Caedmon and I visited a friend who has three little girls of her own (consequently, all of them have hair of gold like their mother, the youngest one in curls... See what I did there??... The Brady Bunch reference!... No?  Okay.  Nevermind.)

Anyway...

So this friend of mine has three girls, who are, truly, my favorite little girls on the planet.  And I'm not saying this because I'm the type of person who favorites everybody and everything, making hackneyed comments like "they are my favorite little girls on the planet" often.  But they are my favorite, because they are fun, imaginative, bold yet well-mannered, and do things like take a nap in our dog's bed when they come over, and belt out their own rendition of The Sound of Music's "Do-Re-Mi" in the middle of lunch (and I mean the middle, no pretenses or warning... just "DO, A DEEH, A FEMAWE DEEH!!! WAY!!! A DWOP OF GOWDEN SUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"), complete with grandiose gestures and appropriate dance moves.  The last little diddy was what Sariah, my friend's three-year-old, graced us with during our visit. And then, when her performance was over, and our wild applause had died down, she looked up at me, a little shyly but eyes full of hope, and asked "So does he," pointing at Caedmon, "do any tricks?"

Hm... Her mom and I smiled at Sariah's sweet choice of words, but at almost 15 months, Caedmon is able to understand and execute many simple commands, and I do find myself saying, "Come", "No!", and "Good boy!" a lot.  And in reality, my process in teaching Caedmon his "tricks" is reminiscent of how I had taught Lucy's hers when she was a pup--a lot of showing, repetition, and rewarding with praise.  And what really gets me is that he is actually learning and responding to me!

Being a first time mom is so much fun, because all of you seasoned moms are probably thinking, "Yes, he's a child; that's what children do."... But for me, my baby sitting down when I ask him to is AMAZING!  What a fun age this is right now!  Every morning I wake up so thankful for my baby, and no sooner have I gone into Caedmon's room to retrieve him from his crib, and he smiles, arms moving to the music he's turned on from his mobile, and he thrusts toward me his stuffed doggy, than am I reminded that he is growing more and more into a boy.

Some of Caedmon's "tricks"...

Caedmon loves choosing the books for us to read to him.  When we're done, he also loves "putting it back", a command he is very good at executing in all contexts (he'll put back his toys, products he's pulled off shelves at the store, and household items he's dug out of drawers and shelves)... until his attention is captured and diverted by something else shiny, new, or racket-inducing.

So it's Chicka Chicka Boom Boom again?  I love it when he brings the books to us, turns around, and plops down in our laps.  

This boy can polish off a banana in 6 seconds flat.

Caedmon helps with chores, like...

mowing the driveway...

emptying the dryer...

feeding Lucy...

and then taste-testing to make sure Lucy's kibble is satisfactory.

Baby sign language has proven to be very useful for us, since Caedmon is still not saying many words yet. His favorite signs are pictured below, but he also knows "water", "cereal", and "help".  He also moves his arms up and down, like he's climbing an imaginary ladder, whenever he hears music or wants to listen to music. That's a sign/motion he came up with on his own!

"Please, Suh, can I have some moh?" "More" and "please" are Caedmon's favorite signs... probably because he is rewarded with food each time!

signing "all done" when the sprinklers turn off

Here he is right before the sprinklers had turned off... This is not a "trick" but was just too cute for this doting mama not to post.

So does he do any tricks?  Oh, Miss Sariah, does he.  It may not be a song and dance, but he's getting there.  And wait a couple of years... perhaps you'll have a willing partner with whom to perform "Edelweiss".