"Mrs. Toes"

For a class that I don't like, I sure think and talk about 7th period a lot! I know that I need to stop letting ONE class dictate how I feel towards teaching as a whole, so I am making an effort to focus on the positives that God has graced me with so far.

One such praise is one of my EL students who calls me "Mrs. Toes." I don't know if its the language thing or if she's being funny, so I just leave it. She is the sweetest little thing and is my unofficial TA. She continually asks if I need help and has come after school several times to help me with all sorts of odds and ends. After one especially hard day a few weeks ago, I left her in the room with a stack of student-drawn posters and a box of pushpins and hastily left to speak with other teachers and admin about a particularly peevish incident that occurred in 7th period. Even after speaking with admin, I still had my knickers all in a knot and was muttering under my breath as I made my way back to my classroom... but when I opened the door, I was greeted with the most welcoming site. All my posters were beautifully hung with obvious care, and there sat my student, in one of the desks in the middle of my room, quietly doing her homework while she waited for me to come back. When I thanked her for her hard work, all she said was, "You're welcome, Mrs. Toes... Do you know how to do math?" And so we did some algebra together, and though she didn't know it, I just wanted to scoop her up and hug her and take her home with me, because she was the balm that I needed for my blistery day.

I thank God for moments of reprieve like this. I know that if God allowed this job for me, then He'll also take me through it, even if I emerge with a few battle scars.

my class from hell

That would be my 7th period.

First, it was the throwing of paper. Wads of paper, paper airplanes, little paper pellets... thrown on the floor, thrown across the room, thrown at other students. I had to threaten with referrals before they stopped--more or less.

Then, there was the whistling. Because if they couldn't throw things, then maybe they could disrupt the class in a more inconspicuous way, like whistling! I also had a couple of days when someone brought party poppers and popped them, sprinkling confetti and streamers all over--in the middle of a test! Then there was the barking, and always, the incessant talking...

And now, it's the pine cones. I've been left a pine cone on my desk the last two days--strange, but innocuous. But today, when I had finally gotten everyone quiet and focused on their tests, a pine cone was launched across the floor, hitting the cabinet, and causing everyone, of course, to scream and shout and speculate about wild squirrels, etc. I, however, paid it no heed and acted like it was the most normal thing to have a large pine cone skate across the classroom floor.  Because that's what they want from me--a reaction. And I wasn't going to give it to them. Without a reaction, the disruption quickly died down, and the pine cone was left on the floor, unable to cause anymore harm.

But it's never-ending. As soon as I quell one misbehavior, another surfaces... it's like those whack-a-moles... only i wish i could actually whack some of these moles I have as students.

I wonder (dread?)... what will tomorrow bring?

I've been Yelped!

I was randomly perusing Yelp and happened across the link for Nordstrom Arden Fair, where I used to work. Out of curiosity to see what raves and reviews my old stomping grounds boasts, I clicked on the link and, like settling in with a favorite book, started reading the familiar stories... oh, yes, we give stellar customer service. oh, look, someone lost her boots and they actually REPLACED them for her! and yes, we do have good food at the cafe... and then all of a sudden, I saw something about "Cecilia in Women's Activewear" from Patrick Y.! That's me!!!

I am completely shocked, pleasantly surprised, and amused that I have been yelped! :)

the toughest job in the world

Teaching is difficult. There are so many things to juggle--130 kids, 3 different lessons a day, all their grades, one kid's special accommodations, another kid's accommodations, and another... managing a classroom (make that 5), engaging the squirrely Freshmen, actually TEACHING them something they will remember... And I feel like I'm failing miserably.

Today I gave a test on characterization. It's a test that we all have to give if we are teaching 9th grade English, so I didn't write it. I don't like some of the questions or how it's so super long, but I have to give it. I, personally, don't think it's difficult, and if my students had paid attention, they shouldn't have thought it was difficult either. But today, I watched many of my students get trampled on... and isn't that just a poor reflection of me as their teacher? Shouldn't I have been able to prepare them better? But I tried...

I always thought the hardest part of teaching would be coming up with lesson plans and material to teach... and then as naive as I was, I thought my students would just learn. I mean, that's how I was as a student. But my students apparently aren't taking what I'm offering them. It's like watching Indee refuse her kibble all over again... the food that I know will nourish her and make her stronger, but that for some reason she refuses to take. My students (even some of my honors kids) don't study and they don't do their work... I know it's partially because of their demographic... but how do I change that??? And again, I circle it back to myself as an ineffective teacher. How does one TEACH??

After school today, I just sat at my desk for a good half hour, staring at nothing in particular, too deflated to tackle the stacks of poorly written essays and tests that I know I'll bleed all over later with my red pen. How does one teach?

They are right when they say that first year teaching is like learning how to swim by being thrown into the deep end... or a raging sea. I'm working so hard and doing my best, but I'm making no progress, water is going up my nose, and I'm sinking fast.

Would someone, please, throw me a lifeline.

i should learn guitar.

This is how (some) of my students are right now:



Maybe I need to do this...


...so that they will be more like this.

I Have Confidence

Another if-my-life-were-a-musical posts... But really, if my life were a musical, I would be packing up my teaching supplies right now (cue music), start swinging my guitar around, and I would begin singing...



What will this day be like? I wonder.
What will my future be? I wonder.
It could be so exciting to be out in the world, to be free
My heart should be wildly rejoicing
Oh, what's the matter with me?

I've always longed for adventure
To do the things I've never dared
And here I'm facing adventure
Then why am I so scared

A school with 1600 children
What's so fearsome about that?

Oh, I must stop these doubts, all these worries
If I don't I just know I'll turn back
I must dream of the things I am seeking
I am seeking the courage I lack

The courage to serve them with reliance
Face my mistakes without defiance
Show them I'm worthy
And while I show them I'll show me

So, let them bring on all their problems
I'll do better than my best
I have confidence they'll put me to the test
But I'll make them see I have confidence in me

Somehow I will impress them
I will be firm but kind
And all those children (Heaven bless them!)
They will look up to me

And mind me with each step I am more certain
Everything will turn out fine
I have confidence the world can all be mine
They'll have to agree I have confidence in me

I have confidence in sunshine
I have confidence in rain
I have confidence that spring will come again
Besides which you see I have confidence in me

Strength doesn't lie in numbers
Strength doesn't lie in wealth
Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers
When you wake up -- Wake Up!

It tells me all I trust I lead my heart to
All I trust becomes my own
I have confidence God won't leave me alone
(Oh help!)

I have confidence God won't leave me alone
Besides which you see I have confidence in me!

my silly goose.

D-day minus 2

I officially start teaching on Tuesday, but Friday, I got to go on campus to observe other teachers, begin gathering my curriculum, and start setting up my classroom. Today I went in for a few hours to rearrange desks and set up all my audio visual equipment (or should I say, I watched as my personal IT guy, Mr. To, set up all my audio visual equipment). I'm pretty happy with the set-up, if I do say so myself. The room is still rather bare, but nothing a few panels of colorful curtains, decorative statement pieces, and accent pillows can't fix! (just kidding!)

A huge, huge, HUGE praise is a 2nd year English teacher whom admin has called "the best teacher we've got," and who has so graciously taken me under his wing. He says he was in my shoes last year, so he understands what I'm going through. My new friend has shared his lesson plans and says he can give me some of his wife's lesson plans too, who teaches 9th Honors English at another school. He even helped me write out my first two weeks of lessons!

On the flip note, a huge, HUGE prayer request is that I will master the art of classroom management. I watched, in horror, as my other colleague, a veteran teacher of 19 years, got eaten alive by her 9th grade English class--MY 9th grade English class as of Tuesday. They made her CRY! She admits, though, that classroom management is not her strong suit, so I know I need to be extra tough and firm with these guys, lest they trample all over me as they did her.

Monday is another prep day, and then... D-Day!!

Eukanuba is a winner!

For the last year and a half, Indee hasn't been eating much, and she was wasting away and lacking in energy. When she came to live with us, I tried mixing cottage cheese with her food or softening it with water, thinking it might be easier on her old lady teeth, but she would eat a few bites at most, look at me with her sad, doleful eyes, and walk away. My heart would sink. I was very much distraught over her health... my poor puppy that I've had since high school must be dying.........

And then one day, I heard some crunching in the kitchen during feeding time, but it wasn't Lucy. It was Indee stealing Lucy's kibble! I was so ecstatic over her pilfering that I gave Indee more of Lucy's Eukanuba, and she ate it. I gave her more, and she ate that too! Turns out, the only sick Indee was, was over her own food. We've found that Eukanuba makes a lamb and rice formula for senior dogs (Indee, amongst other ailments, is allergic to corn, which is used in most regular kibble), and now Indee gobbles her new kibble right up whenever we put it in front of her! It's such a relief that Indee is eating again! She looks healthier in weight and she's fuller in energy.

They say having a pet is good training for parenting, and I would agree with that. I now know how mothers feel when their babies refuse to eat! ...maybe they should try Eukanuba. Worked for my baby. :)

Look how happy and sprightly Indee is at the dog park!

yikes.

Still waiting for HR to finalize my paperwork before I'm officially Mrs. To in the classroom, but I stopped by the main office on campus to pick up some things... and I already saw a boy get handcuffed and led into a police car.

great.