Saturday, June 16, 2012

an UNhappy 2-months

Caedmon is two months old today, but instead of celebrating, I'm banging my head against the wall out of fatigue, frustration, and distress.  Caedmon's not faring any better himself.  All of a sudden this week, my "easy baby" is no longer sleeping well during his naps.  He wakes up after just 30 minutes, crying.  While I know that it is normal for babies to wake up after their 30-45 minute sleep cycles, Caedmon has been unable to fall back asleep to finish his naps.  No amount of holding or rocking or white noise has helped to even console him, let alone get him to sleep.  This has created one very sleep-deprived little boy who is now super fussy and cranky.

Just when we were falling into a routine... just when I thought we were finally figuring things out... he changes on us.

I don't know what to do with this new baby.  I'm so distraught, as nothing we do seems to help.  I've been reading and diligently implementing strategies from Babywise and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, but today, out of desperation, I threw everything I've learned out the window.  It was not eat/wake/sleep, but more like eat/sleep/eat/wake/rock/eat/sleep/rock/wake/eat.  I picked him up when he was crying instead of allowing him to self-soothe.  I kept offering him the breast when I knew he wasn't hungry, in efforts just to have him stop crying.  And in doing so, have I completely torn down all steps of progress toward routine and structure?  Honestly, that wouldn't be so impermissible had I just been able to console him!

In eleven minutes, I'm expecting The Cry... "Caedmon's call", I guess you could say.

Until then, I will lap up the rest of this peace and quiet.  And I'll share these photo taken earlier.  Sigh, just one look at his little face, and I'm restored, at least partially, and enough to press on.  This, too, shall pass, right?