Playing Hooky

I'm sitting in Starbucks right now.  Just me, no baby.  Wayne's mom is watching Caedmon while I steal away for a bit to run some errands, when an idea crept into my head... Really?  Can I do it?  Should I do it?  Should I get some coffee... and just SIT?  I have more errands I could run, and I almost waved this CRAZY idea away, but I'm feeling wild and adventurous today.  Step aside, grocery list, this momma's got a date with some decaf!  Gosh, it feels like ages since I've done this.

Except... mom-guilt is already kicking in.  Cecilia, what about the rest of your errands?  When will you have time to finish those?  And don't you remember how hard Caedmon was crying when you left?  Maybe you should just go home... You can always make coffee and play some Pandora at home.

Augh, stop it!  Caedmon will be fine, and if anything, it's good for him to be with other people; he's been SO attached to me lately.

That's actually been on my mind a lot, how grumpy and distressed he is with others, and it seems to be getting worse, as evidenced by this past Sunday at church.  We usually leave him in the nursery during service, and even though he cries when we leave, we know that he'll be okay.  This past Sunday, though, not long after we settled into our seats, Caedmon's childcare number flashed on the screen, signaling that we needed to tend to our little one.  When I got to the room, Caedmon was sniffling and trying to catch his breath.  His eyes were shut tight, and his face was red and streaked with tears.  One look at me, and he nearly leapt out of the nursery worker's arms.  And then he was fine.  We played for a bit on the floor.  Caedmon loved all the new toys and watching the other babies, and we even got a chuckle out of him a few times.  As long as I am by his side, my little monster is golden.

I expressed my concern and lament over my little shadow and how I wished he was an easier baby who would happily go to others, to which the nursery worker said something that really struck me... "It won't always be like this."

Wow.  Yes, it won't always be like this, in the sense that it won't always be this difficult for Caedmon and he won't always have such a hard time with separation anxiety.  But also, it won't always be like this.... that I will be the world to my baby... that my little boy will crave my cuddles and kisses... that I'll have the ability to erase all woes and worries and make everything good and perfect for my son, simply with a hug and a smile.  No, it won't always be like this.  (Isn't there a country song like this?)  Again, reminders to cherish these moments...

Though, right now, I will allow myself to cherish my peppermint mocha and TIME magazine.


**edit**
Thanks to Steven F., here's the song.  Say what you will about country--it's cheesy, saccharine, hokey... but it sure knows how to pull at the heart strings.  I'm sure any parent can relate to this:

"It Won't Be Like This for Long" by Darius Rucker