I can do it myself!

Caedmon loves bread.  No, I mean, he LOVES bread.  For the last two weeks, Caedmon has been slowly weaning himself of all other sustenance... At first, he ate his mashed yam/squash/avocado/tofu, etc. pretty well, and then finished off with fistfuls of bread.  Then, he started refusing the food I had for him mid-meal, squeezing his eyes shut, shaking his head, and waving his little hands in front of his face... until I gave him bread.  And then he didn't want anything mashed at all, pushing the spoon away as soon as I lifted it to his mouth.  He demanded bread.

I realized that my little boy really just wanted to feed himself, so I gave him all his meals in the form of finger foods, and at first, this seemed to appease my little go-getter as he happily stuffed his face with small cubes of yam/squash/avocado/tofu, etc.  ... and then the self-weaning started again.  I tell you, that boy is very good at discerning shapes, colors, and textures, because he started picking out all the bread pieces and leaving the rest untouched on his tray.

Augh, my child is starving, I thought.  I must devise a plan.

So I disguised the bread.  I spread yam/squash/avocado/tofu, etc. in between slices of bread.  I even made french toast with egg yolk and "grilled" cheese sandwiches in the toaster oven.  Except for the grilled cheese, he really didn't care for my sandwiches.  That boy is such a tease, though, because sometimes Caedmon would pick up a nutrient-packed morsel and start bringing it to his mouth... my face would light up... only to change his mind last minute and drop it back on his tray... and search for more plain bread.  Sometimes he'd even shake off the yam/squash/avocado/tofu, etc. and stuff the plain bread in his mouth.  sigh.

Today, though, today was a breakthrough!  For the past couple of mornings, he's been taking well to banana, so while he was feeding himself, I decided to give him a spoon to play with.  Oh, how he loved waving that spoon around and banging it on his tray.  I think at that moment, he realized that the spoon was, again, his friend.  With another spoon, I coursely mashed a little banana and scooped it up, traded with Caedmon for his empty spoon, and while he was excited to wave this one around, too, I brought a spoon to MY mouth and helped him guide his spoon to his.  ... And following my example, he actually opened up and ATE!  I wish I had recorded his triumphant smile; he was so proud of his endeavor!  or..... maybe he was just beaming, because I was so darn happy!

At lunch, we had some finger foods and then I helped him spoon in avocado.  At dinner, he fed himself mashed yam and turkey!  Hallelujah!  Real sustenance is, again, coursing through my child!  Of course, we finished off each meal with bread, but I don't mind as long as he's getting other foods in, as well.

I had always heard about babies and kids being picky eaters, and I always thought, "Well, I'm certainly not going to let that happen."  After reading up on ways to avoid picky eating, I did everything by the book--introduced a variety of nutritious foods from the start, created a positive mealtime environment, set an example by eating healthy foods along with Caedmon.  I thought that this was one area that I wouldn't have to worry much about.  Oh, how naive I was.  If a kid doesn't want to eat, he doesn't want to eat.

I've read and heard from other moms that food struggles are really struggles for independence, and while I knew to expect it, I didn't know I'd encounter it with Caedmon at just 9 months.  I certainly didn't quite know how to handle it at first... but today was a breakthrough not just in Caedmon's diet, but in my understanding of my son and how to best parent him.  I learned that all the hoopla these last two weeks wasn't so much about the food, though that was what occupied my mind (and rightfully so), but Caedmon's desire to "do it himself".  And while it is very important that he gets the proper nutrients in his body, I needed to respect and work with his desire for independence, in order for the greater good to be achieved.

Today, it's yams/squash/avocado/tofu, etc.  Tomorrow, it may be going out/curfews/fashion choices/girls (eep!), etc.... and hopefully, Wayne and I will be able to recognize and respect Caedmon's desire for independence then, as well, while helping him make sound choices.

But that's a long ways off... For now, I bask in the triumph of one good eating day for my 9-month-old.

Yay!  I can do it myself!